Giving Thanks.

Thankful for the health and love of my family.

Wish Theron was home for it. Sad he will also be missing Christmas and New Years. But we are almost positive he has one hitch left and he's done forever working on boats. Thank goodness.

Tis' the season for

Even though I have never been into cooking, I am so ready to whip up some delicious meals out of those holiday food magazines.

Besides the drool worthy dinners and desserts, I'm not looking forward to Christmas day.
Theron is unfortunately due for work.
He will be up North for most of December, all the way through New Years.
So it will just be Landon and I in this big empty house. :(

Do you have any family recipes you cook every year? How about Holiday traditions? Do share! :)

Another Holiday Without Daddy..

Wish Theron could be here to spend such a kid fun Holiday with his son. Landon is so excited, I know it would mean so much to the both of them if Theron could be here with them.

And what even sucks more, is that Theron will be home in less than 24 hours. I wish he could of been sent home one day early. Not too much to ask for, right?

I miss him so much.....

Fall Photos.

Cute butts, pups and Birthdays

Landon is four years old now. And it's like he knows that with age, comes bigger boy responsibilities and actions. I'm not sure if it's just in my head, but to me, he seems to have changed his attitude. He's taking more showers now rather than baths, doesn't even need my help to get himself squeaky clean or dressed and ready for bed. He doesn't want me to read anymore, he wants to read to me. Little things, but they seem huge to me.

Theron was home for his baby's birthday also. Which we didn't think he would even make it. But he got news that afternoon that he was going home. So he made it to the evening party. Landon was so happy about it. He told him thank you for being home on my birthday, lol.

And we took a little trip to the Aquarium. I don't know if it was worth the money considering we were in and out in little over an hour. Landon sprinted through the whole thing too excited to take his time. He wanted to see some fish and sharks and didn't wanna wait to do it!(sharks were his fave) Silly little boy. Plus, it was a rainy day, so we had to skip the outside. But Landon's little adventurous self was so cute.

Landon wants to be a Pirate for Halloween. Can't wait to shop for his costume. And a pumpkin patch photoshoot is definitely in our near future. :)

Favorite of all seasons.

A few Instagram's ..

Life is well. At the moment, I couldn't ask for more. Lately I have been feeling extra thankful for all I have. Mostly for being blessed with my amazing little family. For Landon and for Theron. Since I met Theron, and the moment Landon was born, I couldn't imagine life without either. I love them both with every part of my heart and soul.

Been over a month.

Landon, today.

It's been over a month, I still am at a loss for words with my writings. How long does Writer's block last? I'm unsure. But, I still want to keep my blog. There are ladies I've met(through the web, of course) whose lives I have grown attached to and I love keeping in touch with. So I decided to keep my blog. I won't be writing much, just mostly checking in and chatting with you all. :)

Today is Father's Day though, so I did wanna write a quick, short little something.. Theron isn't here to enjoy HIS day with us. We called him as soon as we knew he woke up for his shift and Landon told him Happy Father's Day and that he loves him and misses him. I can't wait for him to come home, and we will make up for this lost day. And also, because there is a chance this hitch could very well be his last. Because he is quitting! (I may post about this topic alone, but I can't get into much detail quite yet) Landon and I have been a couple of busy bee's! I don't even have time to write about everything that has happened in the last month.. I will try to get everything down on another day. One topic at a time. 

Hope everyone has been doing good. Going to catch up on some posts. :)

Theron's last day home..

Today is Theron's last day home. I unfortunately have to work *sad face*.. We had a wonderful Easter with both of our families.. We certainly ate to the point where we thought our tummies would explode. Landon Easter egg hunted with his cousins. They had the best time. I love this age he is in. He's starting to remember everything he does. Wherever we go and do, he'll have stashed away in a little part of his mind to think back on. :) Gonna go snuggle with babe and get every little bit of time I can with him today..

Here is a photo from Easter - mid egg hunt.

the downfall to our relationship... happy valentine's day..

Dear Blogger,
Today I spent Valentine's Day, lonely as HECK in the sense that I wasn't with the love of my life. Sure, I was surrounded by some family, in general the day was good. But the sentimental value the day itself holds, never made it's appearance. I spent all day missing Theron. Just wishing he could be here and spend the day with me. If there were any way he could have flown in for a single day and go back out the next, I would be okay with that. It isn't easy reading updates through out the day about my girlfriends getting all the love in the world their heart desires and then some, while i'm stuck unable to create memories with the one I love because Theron is hundreds of miles away from me. What I wouldn't do to be able to have a normal relationship with him. To be able to see him e.v.e.r.y day. Never having to worry about going to sleep alone. It would be nice to not always cook TV dinners cause what's the point of making a huge dinner mess for one and a half people? Having things go unfixed for weeks until he can get home to make it right. That feeling of being overwhelmed and he isn't here to help me. Most of all he misses out on so much, we as a family miss out. It's unbelievably difficult.. And there is no worse feeling in the world when you need that someone you love, but you can't have them, there's nothing you can do to change it. Feeling hopeless is awful. And it's something I constantly have to deal with. I know he does what he has to do to take care of Landon and I, if there were any other way to do it, he would quit his job in a heart beat without thinking twice about it. I know as soon as I get off of here, I'll get myself ready for sleep, curl up in the bed under our blankets and cry to the point where I run myself dry of tears and fall asleep by exhaustion from bawling. It happens every night that he misses out on something he should be here for. Every single time. No matter how many years we have to do this, it never gets any easier. It's been three years and it's just as hard now as it was since day one. I wish he was here. I needed him today and I need him now. I'm on the verge of a break down and I can only imagine him coming up behind me, pulling me towards him and kissing me to reassure that things are alright. What some people often take for granted, I cherish beyond belief. Simple little kisses on the forehead, for no reason. A short holding of each others hands, even if it's just walking from the car to inside the grocery store. Arguing about who is taking up the most room on the bed. Some things I wish I could be able to do every day, go unnoticed by those who have it. And remember that corny saying, 'you never know what you have until it's gone'? I cannot stress enough on how unbelievably true that statement is. I told myself in the beginning of the day that because I do have such an amazing man in my life, I will spend the day happy. But I could only fool myself for so long. No doubt, I have been grateful on this day that I have him, regardless if he was here or not he is my Valentine. But the day should not have been spent the way it was. I am not looking forward to the 27th of this month either... :(

Summing up Christmas

Dear blogger,

There is so much to write, and no where near enough time to say it. So I guess i'll keep it simple/no details...

Since Theron has been home, we have been super busy(hence why I haven't blogged in what seems forever). We have been shopping, spending time with family, and his dad even came down to stay with us over Christmas. *Theron has two dads - the one who raised him over the course of the last 15 years, and his biological father who has been absent over several years and is now putting forth the effort to make a relationship with him and his sister.*
Theron's actual dad came down. It was the first time I met him in the 5 years Theron and I have been together.
Anywho, We've been busy, you get the idea, right? No need for my rambling, lol

Christmas day was a blast, Landon had the best day, which means I did too. I'll skip the list of things he got, it would take too long, and my horrible memory wouldn't be of any help. Plus I got tons of pictures, you'll see some of the things. Oh did I mention how absolutely inconvenient it was when my camera died in the middle of presents at my parents house? I didn't get the big reveal of Theron's present, Landon's presents, the ones we got and ones we gave.

Theron got his Nintendo 3ds, I had to hear him talk about it every day, and how badly he wanted it, but he wouldn't be able to get it for himself this hitch home. Might I say, I did a good job of playing it off that one was already waiting for him under my parents Christmas tree. He didn't expect a thing! Hehe.

Last night, we stayed up all night playing Cranium, lol, thaaat was a good laugh. I recommend this game for everyone who has family nights. I was teamed up with Daniel(Theron's brother) And Theron was on a team with his dad. We were doing sooo horrible in the beginning, but we ended up catching up to them, and won! Naturally.

This week has been so great though. Spending so much time with my family. Loving e-v-e-r-y second of it.

Due to shortage of time, i'll only leave you a couple photos. Bye blogger, til next time.

[Go Ravens!]

I miss them both

I am spending tonight in our home, alone.

Landon is staying the night at his Mema's(Theron's mom), and well..

Theron himself is up North working. So where does that leave me?

It has been so incredibly quite. I've got some things done around the house, and with my blog.

It's peaceful, relaxing, clean.. and to be completely honest, I don't like it. Not one single bit.

I would much rather be chasing my little man around the house, picking up toys that I had just put away 5 minutes before.

Listening to Landon play and make a big wet mess in the bathroom during his bath while I do dishes and put

away left overs from dinner.

I miss Landon asking me a question every 15 seconds.
I miss him throwing his rubber bugs at me. And occasionally getting caught in my hair..

I miss him running and jumping around and telling him to quit it because he'll upset the neighbors, then I get to hear his sweet little voice apologize.

I miss him asking to hold on and telling me that he's busy to drag out going to bed.

I miss watching him get his step stool out so he can brush his teeth.

I miss him begging me to turn on his closet light, the hall way light, and his night light cause he's afraid of what's lurking in the dark.

 And I'll miss him waking up around 3am, like every single morning, to come crawl into bed next to me.

I miss the loudness, craziness, the crying.. because i'm missing the smiles, and laughter, and jokes, and his adorable little sayings as well. 

And I miss him. You know... 'him'.. The love of my life.

And I have a feeling that tonight, is going to be 'one of those nights'.. the restless ones.

Where I can't get him off my mind. No amount blankets and pillows can get me comfortable enough to doze off to sleep.

I'll most likely cry, text him, call him.. knowing he's off watch and getting his much needed rest.

So overworked his phone ringing never even wakes him up.

Then i'll send him another text or two about how i'm so lonely, sleeping in this darn house by myself, and Landon won't even be here to make it okay.

I am completely a-l-o-n-e. 

I can only be a little hopeful that waking up early this morning.. has tired me out enough that I won't be laying in bed for more than a couple hours. 

Damn these nights.