troubled

Dear Blogger,

These last few days are taking a toll on me, more than what I have been letting anyone let on to see.. And by few days I mean the past week. My mind is constantly on the go and filled to brim ready to overflow from a million worries. Seems like it anyway. I'm someone that whenever I am presented with an issue, no matter how small or large, I give in and it gets the best of me. My sleeping problems are slowly creeping up on me again, and I haven't been going to sleep until around 4AM in the morning, only to wake up when Landon does. It takes so much just to roll myself out of bed. Money. The fact that it is currently non existent in our life, at the moment, is our worse problem. Our fridge is near empty, the only thing we really have is plenty of milk and cereal, juice, a box of Brick Oven pizza and a couple TV dinners. There's a half tank of gas in the car and there's 10 dollars in my wallet to last us until the 5TH of next month. I am so grateful to have two amazing families. Mine and Theron's, who are always right there to help us if we need it. I keep asking myself should I get a job? Is it worth giving up the time I have everyday with Landon, while after every hitch home we're always near having to ask to borrow money from our family? Will I make enough to profit after the price of daycare? Should I get a part time like I have now and risk not getting called in for almost two months cause it's unbelievably slow? A full time? I want the best for Landon. I want the best for all of us. I'm waiting for the day when I can finally sit back and say 'this is it, i'm where I wanna be'. I always feel like nothing horrible can happen to people who are at the utmost genuinely good at heart, good all around, that things will always work out, because they don't deserve it any other way. There is so much more on my mind, emotional, personal things, that I don't want to say because it involves others.. I think id like to create a blog for my sister. She has a lot of issues, major life threatening issues, she's dealing with and nowhere to look, no one to go to except my mother and me.. I don't wanna press it too much on here, I don't want to expose her personal life for just anyone. I think i'm done for now.. I've been so absent on blogging lately. I'm sorry for all the wonderful posts I missed out on. And I don't think I'll honestly ever have the time to catch up on them. I will probably go scam a few of my favorites...

Goodbye for now!

Oh and I was going to do a separate post, might as well add it on here seeing as I don't know when the next time I'll be able to write will be.

Would anyone like to button swap for February? :)

I know my followers are on the low side of the scale. But if anyone is doing swapping, id love in and to try to and get my blog out there more to the world.